You watch for a long time before committing, then you do not let go.
Why?
Neptune in Scorpio
Neptune governs what you idealise, and therefore where you stay blurry the longest. In Scorpio, it plays out fully and in private. You watch for a long time before committing, then you do not let go. Neither domicile, exaltation, detriment nor fall: the planet works without particular support or brake.